I dated twelve musicians like him before I dated your gramps. Josh: Why are you so mean to Drake? Grammy: Because I know his type. What? Drake: You can't photocopy tickets! Scotty: Yes, you can! You just put them on the glass, close the liddy thingy and press copy. Drake: Are you sure? Scotty: I photocopied them myself. Rina: Yes! Scary cops who are going to arrest us for having fake tickets, Scotty! Scotty: Guys, the tickets are not fake.
Rina: This is not backstage! Paul: This is practically jail. Grammy Scotty: Can you believe it? We made it backstage. Unless you're Josh.ĭrake: Do you want to be honest, or do you want a girlfriend? Josh: Girlfriend, please. Drake: WHERE IS THE BABY? First Crush Drake and Josh: And the most important thing is to be yourself. Drake: Not Josh! The baby! Megan: What makes you think that I would have the baby? Drake: Because you're a devious, twisted little girl. Where is he? Megan: I think he's dangling from the gutter. We could- I was going to say- But I just wanted- HEADACHES! Why don't you climb in and fling yourself out of my room? Josh: This is my room. Drake: So? Josh: So, when I'm done, this baby's gonna be able to fling stuff over 50 feet through the air. It's a one a scaled working replica of a Medieval Catapult. Dude, can't you build your mechanic dork machine somewhere else? Josh: It's not a dork machine. Josh: I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I'M WEARING EARPLUGS! Drake: Oh. Do you have to make all that noise? Dude, I can't concentrate. Two Idiots and a Baby Drake: Josh! I'm working on a song here. Josh: I think we handled that very maturely. Oh, dear Lord, thank you so much for my very first kiss! Amen! Drake, I swear. Josh: I knew it! Drake: Susan? Susan: Ew! Josh, what are you trying to do? I'm Drake's girlfriend! Oh, Drake, you're here. Jo-osh! Josh: Aw, come on! Believe Me, Brother Susan: Josh, it's not unintentional at all. Dad, could you bring me a root beer, a couple magazines, and, in about 20 minutes maybe some ice cream? Walter: Yeah. Josh: I- I don't understand-! Drake: Hold that thought. Josh: Heh? Drake: Two weeks, laying in bed, no school, playing a little guitar, watching a little TV, you bringing me pizzas. What are you smiling about? Josh: The great Drake, grounded for two weeks. I'll just stay grounded and I'll fix the dune buggy, again, and you just keep worrying about yourself. "Ooh, I'm Drake! I'm so cool, I get away with everything!" Fine. But all you can think about is, getting away with it. Drake: Are you crazy? Josh: No, I'm honest! Drake: What? Josh: I'm grounded for two weeks! Drake: Josh, you know what- Josh: We spent like a hundred hours on that dune buggy trying to fix it up, and you ruined it! And you're hurt. Drake: Do mom and dad know? Josh: They're gonna! Drake: Don't you do that to me! Josh: Fine! You tell them. Dune Buggy Josh: You, uh, wanted to chat? Drake: Why did you make him attack me? Josh: 'Cause it's about time you stopped getting away with everything! Drake: What's that supposed to- Josh: You threw the pillows! You talked me into lying about the TV! You got me grounded! And you took our dune buggy out when you weren't supposed to, and you wrecked it! Drake: What-what-what're you talking about? Josh: I got a call from the emergency room! You left your wallet there. Tiffany: That was so romantic! Drake: And dessert is here. You understand me? Josh: But I'm a vegetarian! Buck: Monday, 3:00, you and me. Buck: Yeah? Well you can't date a guy with no HEAD! You're hamburger meat. with this clown?! Josh: Trouble, breathing! Tiffany: Look, I can date whoever I want. Tiffany: Buck! Buck: So, it's true! Josh: What? That I have a concussion? Buck: I turn my back for five minutes, and you're on a date with.
Tiffany: Who's that? Josh: I don't know. Audrey and Walter: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED! Walter: Yeah, we're gonna be one big old, happy family! Drake: Wait, wait, you mean, he's going to be my stepfather? And you! You're gonna be my- He's gonna be my? Josh: Hug me, brotha'! Drake: Megan! Megan: Ugh, are they done sucking faces yet? Audrey: Kids, Josh's dad and I have been going out for a long time now, and, we have some news! Drake: You got me a dirt bike? Audrey: No. Audrey: Wait, uh Drake quick get your sister. Drake: Josh, wh-what are you doing here, what's he doing here? Josh: Tell him. Josh: What happened?! I heard screaming! Walter: It's alright son, there's nothing to mop here.